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by William S. Frank
CareerLab
Rejection is a killer. No matter how many times you tell yourself
it's not going to hurt, it does. Turndowns take many forms, but in
the job-hunter's mind they all say this:
"WE DON'T WANT YOU. YOU'RE NO GOOD!"
Here are common mistakes job-hunters make and ways to avoid them:
Your goals are unclear
You haven't examined yourself carefully. You're drifting, floating,
and your resume says, "Seeking a challenging and rewarding position
in which my background, training and abilities can be fully and effectively
utilized." What is that? Are you hoping the employer will figure out
where you belong? They can't and won't. You must figure out what you
want to do and tell employers clearly and precisely.
You're pretending
You're getting rejection everywhere you go. Nothing works. Perhaps
you're trying to go somewhere you really don't belong or don't want
to go. You know it and employers know it instinctively. You're not
listening to your insides. You're trying to do what's "practical or
realistic" rather than what's right for you. When you listen to your
intuition and go in the right direction, doors open.
You don't "appeal" to anyone
Your resume tells the employer what you "have done" and where you
"have been," but that's not enough. They are interested in themselves,
and you need to appeal to their situation and self-interest.
Recently, I noticed billboards for fast-food restaurants that said,
"Buses Welcome." (Buses were welcome because each bus holds 60 customers!)
The sign "Buses Welcome" repeated until finally one sign really grabbed
me. It said, "BUS DRIVERS EAT FREE!"
Give employers 75 reasons to hire you. Make a list. Tell them in
clear and simple language what you're going to do for them.
You're taking, not giving
You're coming across as a taker, not a giver. You're acting needy,
explaining when you can work and what you can't do. The biggest word
in job-hunting is "Help," that's why it's called "Help Wanted," and
you need to come across as energetic and enthusiastic. Your prospective
boss may be tired, stressed and buried under a mountain of paperwork.
They probably need help badly, and they will hire the person they
think will help them the most, the fastest, with the least amount
of hassle. The second they think you're helping them you're on the
way to being hired.
You take "no" too easily
You make a phone call or send a letter and no one answers. So you
turn on the tape that says, "I'm Worthless." Don't give up. "No" doesn't
mean "never." It means "not now, maybe later." If the job, the company,
or the person interests you, stay in touch.
Once you find someone you like, make them a friend. Send him an occasional
letter and something helpful. A clipping. An idea. A piece of your
work. Send it with warmth and enthusiasm. Why do this? Because one
day your friend may tell you a new job has opened up - your job.
You're "shopping" from a distance
Rejection letters are coming in by the hundreds. What's wrong? Perhaps
you're too impersonal, too distant. The Director of Marketing doesn't
like a letter addressed to "Director of Marketing." Would you like
a love letter addressed to "Occupant?" Get personal. Find out who
you are addressing.
A recent letter to me said, "Your article has directed and stimulated
me and I'm following your directions..." AHA! She was talking about
my favorite subject: me. Your prospective employer might like you
to talk about his or her favorite subject too.
You're waiting
The interview was fantastic! You can feel it in your bones - you've
got the job. Might as well go play tennis and wait. And wait and wait
and wait. Until suddenly the bad news, "We've hired someone else."
As salesmen say, you don't have the order (the job) until you have
a check "in the hand" and then, not until you have cashed it. Then
you have a job (temporarily). The solution is to stay busy. Keep a
lot of balls in the air so that no one "rejection" will stop you.
You lack support
There are several kinds of people in the world. Positive people tend
to know positive people, negative people seem to know negative people.
Be sure you stay in a positive network. When someone is especially
warm or kind, ask if they know any other really friendly people who
might help. Chances are, they will. When you meet a negative or rejecting
person, go somewhere else.
You've found a jerk
Sometimes you do everything right and still get rejected. A client
recently wrote a letter that said, "Jim Taylor's my name ... Transportation's
my game." The hiring executive wrote back, "We find your introduction
somewhat interesting in that you say, 'Transportation is your game.'
Transportation is not a game to us - it is serious business. Your
brief rundown of experience indicate specialization in areas where
we are adequately staffed with competent professionals."
This seems cold and unfeeling. What can Jim do? "Judo" the rejection!
For example, he could write back, "Thank you for your letter of...
Yes, you do seem to take your work seriously - perhaps too seriously!
I'm sending along a couple of transportation cartoons to help lighten
your mood (include them). I do take my work seriously. Here are examples
(include them). You will find me a very helpful employee as so-and-so
did (include a one-fine testimonial). Thank you for your attention.
Let's talk again."
Take your power and use it. Don't let others have the last word.
Often you can have the last word if you apply a little creativity.
You're rejecting yourself
You're telling yourself all the things you can't do, itemizing your
failures. Why not make a list of "Neat Things About Me" - and don't
be modest. Or keep a "win file." If someone says something nice about
you, ask them to write it down. They most surely will.
Finally, remember how very special you are. Know that your background
- everything you've done, both positive and negative - has a reason
and purpose. It all fits together like a puzzle-and makes sense -
if assembled properly.
Zig Ziglar said: "Most people ... refuse to out on a limb because
they don't understand that the fruit is always out on the limb." Go
out on limb, even if it occasionally means risking rejection.
Source: The Columbus Dispatch. February 2, 2003
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